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Wednesday, June 01, 2005

10 Signs you might be Working at IBM

by David Letterman

You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their
process.

You get all excited when it's Saturday so you can wear shorts to work.

You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.

You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.

You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive
restaurant in town within the same week.

You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project"
are acceptable English phrases.

You know the people at faraway hotels better than your next-door neighbors.

You ask your friends to "think outside the box" when making Friday night
plans.

You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into
a matrix.

You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.

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